Before Their Time

My daughter is taking swim lessons this week with the city parks and recreation department. Swim lessons have been an annual summer ritual since she was a toddler, beginning with the “Mommy and Me” class. She is finally perfecting her strokes. My daughter, like her mom, is not an athlete. Skills are mastered slowly.

Beyond the preschool swim program of starfish, tadpoles, and dolphins, lessons with the city are grouped by skill level not age. For the past three summers, I would reread the skill level requirements and conclude that my daughter did not have the skills necessary to move to the next level. Finally this year, she has the stamina and enough stroke ability to move up.

I was surprised that she wanted to take a swim class again this year. I knew she would be the oldest kid in her class. Sure enough, she is several years older than the others. The youngest child, who is maybe seven, (my daughter is 11) doesn't have the strength to keep up. Her stroking is okay, but she is one tired camper by the end of the 45-minute class. I fully expect that this child will have to be rescued before the two week class is over.

Today, as I am anxiously watching this child struggle, I suddenly hear screaming at the shallow end of the pool. A boy, about three or four years old, is desperate to get out of the pool. The swim instructor is trying to pry the child from the parent's arms. Many children have to learn during early swim lessons to put their face in the water. But this child didn't want his big toe in the water. I felt uncomfortable for the ill-equipped teenage instructor.

My daughter's swimming has improved more in two days than the last two years. I think it's because the instruction level and her ability level are perfectly matched. But I continue to wonder why parents are so willing to place their children in activities that they are not ready for or not interested in? The young girl, in my daughter's class, needs to be in a lower level class and the screaming three-year-old is not ready for any swim lessons. As parents we have got to stop comparing our child to every other child their age. Kids will do things at their own speed, when they are good and ready, or maybe not at all.