Choosing Your Battles

I am outspoken. I am not sure when I found my voice. But as an adult, I am quick to offer an opinion, often when I should just keep my mouth shut.

Growing up, I was one of those kind of kids that knew the answer at school but was afraid to speak up in fear that it would be wrong. My preferred place in the classroom was in the second seat on an outside row. Close enough to keep up with what was going on, but not too exposed like a seat front and center.

I remember a conversation in graduate school with a couple of male classmates. They told me that I was too meek; that in the “real world”, I was going to get stepped on. Looking back now, I wonder that if their assessment was right then when did the current “me” emerge.

What will get me going more than anything is a perceived injustice. My 11-year-old knows this about me. Now any time I voice an opinion, about any situation, her response is always the same. “Mom, you need to write somebody about this!”

My daughter and I have had several conversations lately about “choosing your battles.” She doesn't grasp that taking a stand on an issue can be time consuming, emotionally draining and often unpopular. But I am trying to teach her that there are times when one must take a stand on an issue, no matter how difficult.

One of those times occurred recently for me. Our city made national news as one of the school districts that decided not to show President Obama's education speech live. A few days later it was revealed that the district had planned a fifth grade field trip to the new Cowboy's football stadium to hear former President Bush. I was livid. I wrote the school superintendent, the school board, the school principal, and the local newspaper.

Texas has a history of low test scores, high dropout rates, and high teen pregnancies. A pep talk on the importance of education is just what our children needed. But apparently the district thought it was more appropriate to tour Jerry Jones' new palace.

The superintendent rethought the inconsistencies of the decision regarding these two events. Apparently I wasn't the only one who voiced a concern. Unfortunately, the children are the ones who lost out in both instances. But there are consequences to poor decision-making.

A friend recently recalled a heated conversation among a group of woman at a social event. She said, “It was as if these women were all desperate to have their voices heard.” I think she hit the nail on the head. So many of us spend the first part of our lives being the “nice girl.” But then middle age hits and watch out sister.

Sometimes I too, just want to be heard. But I hope there are more times that I am standing up for what I believe is an important issue. Regardless, I don't think anyone, including my former classmates, would ever use the word “meek” to describe me now!